In today's Miss Manners column, advice columnist Judith Martin responds to a wedding guest questioning etiquette within the wedding industry.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: It used to be the bride who proclaimed that the wedding was Her Day. As soon as that attitude resulted in many of them being called “Bridezilla,” everyone else started popping up to proclaim it Her Day (or The Couple’s Day).

It’s not about you.” In this Gentle Reader’s opinion, “It’s not about you” is just another way of saying “You don’t matter.” It turns people into props in a reality show. GENTLE READER: A huge industry is committed to the notion that weddings are an etiquette-free period for bridal couples.

Does the mother of the bride want to exclude her ex -- who treated her abominably in the divorce, and who isn’t related to nor close with the bride -- from the wedding? Too bad. “It’s not about you,” she’s told.